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How to Treat Your
Lover
by Tami
Chapter 37
Chapter 37-B: Step 2 – Estrangement (Part
4)
Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel
Spike sat behind the reception desk with a glass of blood and a magazine when Cordelia walked in, laughing to herself.
“Hey, Spike!” she said cheerily.
Spike eyed her speculatively then went back to reading.
“If Julia Roberts ever makes a realistic movie about being an escort, I think it should be called Pretty Skanky Woman.” She stopped at the counter and looked interested in what he was doing.
“Sounds like you got shagged right and proper while you were there, pet,” Spike commented without looking up.
“Ew, Spike,” Cordelia cringed as she put her purse down.
They both looked up at the door as Fred came rushing in, crying her eyes out. Spike swiveled off the stool and hurried around the desk, meeting Fred in the middle of the lobby. He and Cordelia guided her over to the round settee in the center of the room and sat down on either side of her.
“Fred, what’s wrong? What happened?” Cordelia asked concerned.
“What was it and how many ways can I kill it before it dies?” Spike added.
“He invited me to go out with him. He’s always been so nice and chivalrous before. We went for a walk and everything was going so well, you know? He even called me a sweetheart. But, that’s just expression, isn’t it? Like when Spike calls us ‘luv’ and ‘pet’? It doesn’t mean your special or anything. It’s just a word, right? Sweetheart.”
“Fred, you are special,” Spike countered.
“Is this about Angel?” Cordelia asked softly. When Fred nodded, she asked, “He talked to you, didn’t he? This is all my fault. I told him to do that.”
Fred turned and glared at Cordelia. “You told him to make lewd advances . . .”
That got Spike’s attention and he glared at Cordelia too. “What the bloody hell were you thinking, Cordy?”
“What?” Cordelia seemed shocked herself. “No! I didn’t tell him to do that!”
“We’re trying to get Fred to get over her crush and still remain friends, not scare her away from him and all men!” Spike said angrily.
“I did not tell him to make lewd advances towards her, though now that I think about it, that’s so like him to take what I say out of context!” Cordelia said defensively.
“What’s going on here?” Gunn asked from the back door as he and Wesley walked in.
“Angel happened under Cordelia’s suggestion,” Spike replied blandly.
“For the last time, I did not suggest that he make advances towards Fred,” Cordelia said exasperated. She looked at Wesley, Gunn and Spike in turn. “So, general consensus is: Angelus is back?”
Fred looked around at each member, completely lost. “Who’s Angelus?”
“The bad-ass vamp Angel turns into when he gets evil. But then, why didn’t he just kill Fred?” Gunn said.
“Because it’s not Angelus,” Spike said.
“Or Angel for that matter,” Cordelia added.
“How do you know for sure?” Gunn asked.
“He’s my Sire. Even if I wasn’t mated to the pillock, I’d feel it in my blood. It may be the old bastard’s body, but someone else is at the wheel. I’ve been having this strange feeling since [Angel] came back from the gym. Last night, I went back to the retirement home and found Angel – our Angel there,” Spike explained.
“So, what are we dealing with, a demon?” Gunn asked.
“No, an elderly warlock. He’s been watching the gym across the street and using some sort of spell to switch places with the guys in the gym,” Spike replied.
“And when the human bodies die or gets used up, the spell wears off and he gets thrown back in his own body,” Wesley surmised.
Cordelia’s eyes widened when the implication of what Wesley and Spike were discussing. “And now, he’s in Angel’s body.”
The bang of the door opening and closing drew everyone’s attention and they looked at the source. [Angel] stood in the entryway holding a stack of certificates. He stopped when the group silently stared at him.
“What did I miss?” he asked.
Cordelia stood up and stalked towards [Angel], demanding, “Where have you been?”
“I was out getting the documents needed to circumvent Gavin with the hotel,” [Angel] replied. He looked at the team staring back. “What?”
Cordelia snatched the stack of paper from him to examine them.
“That’s what you broke Fred’s heart for, to protect the hotel?” Gunn asked angrily.
“Isn’t protecting the hotel a good thing?” [Angel] asked.
Spike walked up to him and punched him. “That’s for hurting Fred.” He punched [Angel] in the face, knocking him down. This version of his Sire was still weaker than Spike was which could have been another clue that it wasn’t the real Angel. Then, Spike kicked him in the ribs. “That’s for stealing Angel’s body and using it to hurt Fred.” With another punch to the face, Spike knocked [Angel] out.
Gunn walked up to Spike, put a hand on his shoulder and stared down at the body. “Did that get it out of your system?”
“Not even close,” Spike replied.
“It will have to do. We need to get him back to the nursing home and the bodies switched before he wakes up,” Wesley said.
“Right,” Cordelia agreed. “Spike, you and Gunn carry him out to the car.”
Gunn spun on Cordelia. “Why me?”
“’Cause Angel’s spent years drinking animal blood and now he’s just big and heavy,” Spike bit out. “I’m not hauling him out there over my shoulder.”
“Fine,” Gunn said and grabbed one side of [Angel] while Spike grabbed the other side and carried him out to the car.
**************************
Los Angeles, Monserrat Retirement Home
The back door Spike had used before opened and the crew scurried in with Gunn and Spike carried [Angel]. Cordelia was on the lookout for staff members as they smuggled the body through the halls to Marcus Roscoe’s room. They barged in, surprising [Marcus], but not enough for the fatal fourth heart attack that Ryan, the orderly, had warned him about.
“Damn, am I glad to see you?” [Marcus] exclaimed.
“No time for hugs now, Angel,” Spike said. “We need to get him tied up and do the spell.”
Gunn sat Angel’s unconscious body in a chair and Fred and Cordelia tied him to it. [Marcus] sat down across from him and looked at the bruises on his body.
“What happened to me?” [Marcus] asked.
“Spike went a little overboard with the pummeling,” Fred replied.
“Do you secretly hate me that much?” [Marcus] asked, taking in the bruise-mottled flesh that was quickly healing.
Spike stepped back to examine his handiwork with the ropes. “I may have been working through some issues.”
“He hurt Fred,” Gunn added.
[Marcus] nodded, accepting that explanation.
“Are you all right?” Cordelia asked.
“I got to pee,” [Marcus] announced.
“Not liking that pesky human trait are you?” Spike asked.
“Just hurry up and get the spell done before I have another heart attack,” [Marcus] grumbled.
“Did you happen to notice a small Algurian conjuring orb? It could have been glowing,” Wesley said.
“Over there,” [Marcus] pointed to a shrine on the book shelf.
Wesley grinned. “I was right. It was an Algurian body-switching spell.”
“Spell now, pat yourself on the back later,” Gunn said.
Fred grabbed a hardcover book and whacked [Angel] over the head, causing everyone to look at her in surprise.
“Fred! What are you doing? He’s out!” [Marcus] asked.
“He deserved it for what he did to her,” Spike explained.
Wesley had the conjuring orb in his hand and handed a slip of paper to [Marcus] “Read this.”
“Alli permutat anima kimota. Alli permutat anima kimota,” [Marcus] recited.
[Angel’s] head rose up and a blue-and-white light issued from [Marcus’s] eyes and nose as a red-and-white light flowed from [Angel’s] eyes. The blue-and-white light disappeared into [Angel’s] mouth while the red-and-white light entered [Marcus]. Their heads sagged onto their chests.
After a moment, Angel’s head came up and he looked at Spike, a slightly dazed expression on his face. “God, it’s good to see you again, baby boy.”
Spike nodded to Gunn and the vampire hunter untied Angel’s hands. He immediately stood up and draped himself over Spike’s shoulders. Thankfully, the younger vampire didn’t need to breathe as Angel hugged him until he heard a slight cracking sound.
Angel leaned heavily on his boy as he turned and looked at Fred. She didn’t look physically harmed. “Are you okay?” She nodded.
“I got his conjuring stone,” Cordelia said as she gave it to Angel.
“You can’t take that!” Marcus yelled angrily.
Angel stood straight and closed his hand, crushing the stone to powder.
“You . . .! You don’t deserve that body!” Marcus accused.
“Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you. I’ll tell you why you have a weak heart, Marcus. You never use it.” Angel grabbed Spike’s shoulder and they started to leave with the team falling in behind them.
“You’re pathetic!” Marcus yelled, standing up in his insistence. “You’re all pa . . .”
Angel turned back and said, “You should try and keep a lid on that rage, Marcus. It’s not healthy.” With that, Angel and the team walked out as Marcus sunk back into his chair, clutching at his heart.
**************************
Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel, Angel’s Suite
Angel felt like the old man whose body he had escaped from. He had said goodnight to the gang and came upstairs with Spike. Stripping off his clothes, he crawled into bed, groaning painfully. Spike watched him shift around to a comfortable position before shedding his own clothes and joining him.
“I take it by the sounds, sex is out tonight?” Spike teased.
“I just need to . . . re-acclimate to my own body again,” Angel groaned. “What did you hit me with?”
“My fist and my boots,” Spike replied. “Besides, it wasn’t you I was punching at the time. You told me to make him hurt if he hurt Fred. So, I did.”
“I think Fred has more strength than I gave her credit for. What did she knock him in the head with?” Angel asked, rubbing the back of his head.
“A hardcover coffee table book on birds, I think,” Spike said with a chuckle.
“Explains why I’m still seeing them fly around my head,” Angel quipped.
“You never took recovering well, did you? Always had to be up and at the next brawl,” Spike recalled.
“I think you’re confusing my history with your own,” Angel groaned painfully.
“Well, yeah, but then I enjoyed the recovery part,” Spike smirked. “Dru took care of me.” He cringed as he thought really thought about that. “As much as any insane vampire could take care of me.”
Angel carefully rolled over onto his side to look at his childe. He held his ribs to try and ease the pain. “Are you trying to make me jealous enough to punish you?”
Spike leaned closer and kissed Angel on the lips lightly. He laughed quietly when his Sire jerked back a little when the pressure hit a sensitive cut. Angel growled softly before he grabbed Spike and pulled him over on top of him, kissing him hard.
Spike broke the kiss and pulled back slightly. “I thought you were in too much pain for this.”
“And I think you’re an insolent, impetuous pain in my ass,” Angel retorted, wincing.
“And a few other places, it would seem. You should really keep a lid on that anger. It’s not healthy,” Spike teased.
“Very funny, cheeky brat,” Angel nipped at Spike’s lower lip. “My heart isn’t beating, so I have no problem with that now. However,” he clutched at his boy’s hips and ground against him, “other parts of me are developing a pleasant ache.”
“Are you sure you’re not in any pain,” Spike teased. “’Cause you know, I’ve been told I’ve very good at taking care of others.”
“Ah,” Angel said as if he were just told a big secret. “In that case, I have a headache, a black eye, bruised cheek, busted chin, a couple of cracked ribs from someone’s clodhopping boots. Then, there’s a problem with swelling balls and a thickened cock to deal with. I’m in too much pain to handle it all.”
“You’re a vampire, suck it up,” Spike smirked at the bad pun.
“Would rather have you do it,” Angel pouted.
Spike kissed Angel’s temple near the black eye he had put there himself. Then, he brushed his lips over a bruised cheek. Sliding lower, he mouthed the sore chin and pressed open mouth kisses along Angel’s neck. Moving down the big body, he ran the flat of his tongue along the aforementioned cracked ribs.
Spike rose up and looked at his Sire. “Feel better?”
“No, you missed a couple of places,” Angel replied casually.
“Keep milking it and this won’t get very far,” Spike warned. Angel looked at him innocently. “Try that look on someone who doesn’t know you.”
“Well,” Angel said thoughtfully. “There is this hard erection I have, and my balls are heavy. Could you do something about that?”
Spike shifted to his demon and looked at his Sire through yellow eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Angel swallowed hard as he watched his childe slide down the bed until his stomach was on the mattress. He squeezed his eyes shut against the sight of Spike’s fangs skimming the tender skin of his inner thigh. He groaned when he felt a sandpaper tongue lick up the small amount of blood that escaped the furrowed wound. He held back from tightening his muscles against the fang worrying the juncture of his thigh and pelvis. The deadly fangs skimmed the flesh along his navel and Angel thanked the Powers that Spike hadn’t gone for his cock yet.
Spike knew Angel was imagining the time they shaved each other. The hair had grown back a while ago, but one never forgot how close a razor cut near the important bits. He leaned down and licked the huge monolith from base to tip. The curse that passed Angel’s lips could have been from the sensation of his tongue or the pain in the ribs from jerking up. Spike wasn’t sure.
He felt his Sire reach for the hand cleanser on the bedside table. Then a guttural “Turn around.” He shifted back to his human face and turned his body so that he was straddling Angel’s chest and resumed tongue-bathing Angel’s cock. He sucked in a hissing breath and squeezed the base of Angel’s erection when he felt strong fingers hold him open and a dexterous tongue push through the anal ring.
Spike rested his forehead on Angel’s thigh as the elder vampire held his body down and worked his tongue deeper. The only recourse Spike had was to push back and forth on the tongue, rubbing his cock on Angel’s chest. He cursed to himself and methodically stroked his Sire’s hard length as he fucked himself on the insistent tongue.
Spike moved closer to the erection in his hand and licked his way up the length as if it were a sturdy post holding him up. He pulled the crown closer and pressed his tongue into the slit. That caused Angel to jab his tongue into him.
“Bloody sodding hell. Have to learn not to do that,” Spike told himself.
He opened his mouth over the tip and slowly sucked his way down the shaft. Angel’s hold on him wouldn’t allow him to touch base. He stroked what he couldn’t reach and sucked leisurely, making into a massage of his tongue against the shaft. With Angel teasing the nerve endings at his anal opening, Spike thought it only fair to return the favor. He put a hand between Angel’s legs and rubbed a finger along the perineum to the hidden hole and wiggled the finger inside, rotating it in circle to tease the tight muscle.
Angel pulled away and dropped his head back on the pillow. Feeling Spike’s exploratory fingers go somewhere no one else had made him squirm and writhe. That only caused the sensation to intensify and his inner muscles clamped down on the probing digit. Having Spike’s ass within easy reach wasn’t bad either. He smacked the alabaster skin for his childe’s boldness.
To get back at Spike, Angel nudged his entrance with the nozzle of the hand cleanser and gently worked it inside. Then, he gave the bottle a quick squeeze in the middle, squirting cold liquid into Spike’s ass, causing the younger vampire to jerk forward and subsequently swallow the head of his dick.
Spike sucked up off Angel’s length, making the dark vampire groan at the tugging sensation. He turned his head and glanced back in the direction of his Sire. Angel removed the bottle and tossed it on the bed. Spike bit his lip and groaned when he felt fingers push into him and circle around coating his insides with the liquid.
“Turn around and ride me,” Angel said in a low raspy voice.
Spike carefully pulled away from the fingers until they slipped out. He turned around and reached down to guide Angel inside him. He deliberately kept his eyes open to watch his lover’s expression as he slowly slid down the length. Angel caressed his hand over Spike’s thighs and down his arms, taking the beautiful hands in his and pressing their fingers together. Spike entwined their fingers, squeezing his Sire’s hand and then lined up their fingers again.
“Move slowly,” Angel softly instructed. He entwined their fingers again, holding Spike’s hands captive so that the younger vampire couldn’t use them for balance.
“You’re making it difficult to do this,” Spike said raggedly.
“Just move your hips.”
“I’ll lose my balance.”
“No you won’t. Rock your hips back and forth.”
Spike tightened his fingers in Angel’s and moved his hips forward, feeling the shaft move out and then shifted back, feeling it fill him again. Angel stretched his arms out slightly, causing Spike to stretch with him, until he was suspended above him.
“Faster, Spike.”
“I’ll fall.”
“You won’t fall. Even if you did, I’m here. It’s not like you’ll topple over onto the floor.”
“You’re injured, what if I do something to make it worse?”
Angel raised a brow at that. “You care about my welfare? How sweet.”
“Shut up, pillock,” Spike grumbled.
Angel flashed a grin. “They are already healing. You can’t hurt me, you know that. You’ve tried enough times over the years. Fireplace pokers and hot iron rods ring a bell?”
Spike looked wistful for a moment. “I remember those days, good times.”
Angel started to pump his own hips as he felt himself nearly ready to cum. The movement forced Spike to go with him. The younger vampire rose up and fell back to meet his Sire’s thrusts. Once a rhythm was set, Angel started moving faster, causing Spike to bounce on his thrusts.
“There, see?”
Angel watched Spike’s eyes close. He allowed it since the pleasure was etched on his boy’s face. When Spike’s mouth opened on a silent moan, Angel mimicked him since he felt the inner muscles clench around him. His hand let go of Spike’s and started to stroke the younger vampire’s cock in time to the rhythm they had set. Spike released his other hand and leaned down over him. Angel nuzzled against his face until he parted his lips and kissed him.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Spike grunted as he bucked his hips between Angel’s cock and Angel’s fist. “Cum for me, Spike,” he whispered.
The blonde vampire tensed and growled low as he released semen all over his Sire’s hand and stomach. The feeling caused Angel to cum with him. Spike slowly slid off the flaccid member. He collapsed on his Sire’s body in a boneless heap, sighing when Angel ran his fingertips slowly along the damp skin of his back.
“That was . . .” Spike started to say.
“Unbelievably erotic to watch,” Angel finished.
“We’ll start with that.”
Spike slid off of Angel and onto his side. His Sire’s arms tightened around him so that he didn’t go too far away. He rested his head on Angel’s shoulder and ran his fingertips over the elder vampire’s torso.
“You’ll never leave me again,” Spike inquired tiredly.
“Not if I can help it,” Angel said, running his fingers through his boy’s hair, loosening the stiff curls at the top.
“This time with you . . . here at the hotel with the team, it’s what I’ve searched for all these years I’ve existed,” Spike admitted. “Ever since you left, all I ever wanted was to be with you again. My existence, my reason for going on day to day, is because of you.”
Angel’s chest tightened at the confession. He never realized how much of an impact being in L.A. would have on Spike. As far as he knew, Spike had always hated Los Angeles and suffered it because Angel wanted him here. He kept silent. The only response was the lulling caress of fingers along Spike’s back.
“The team is like my family, Angel. They can be annoying sometimes, but I care about them. Fred’s like a little sister to me. She reminds me of Dru. Cordelia’s feisty and great to bicker with. Gunn is good to spar with and I’d have his back in a second. Unless he pulls a stunt like he did a few weeks ago. Percy’s even grown on me.”
“Yeah, they’re a . . . unique group of people,” Angel agreed, lazily caressing his boy’s back.
“Then there’s this great brooding gorilla I know,” Spike teased.
“Brooding gorilla?” Angel asked his brow etched in confusion.
“I’m sorry, would you rather I said ‘ape’?” Spike grinned.
“One’s just as bad as the other,” Angel grumbled.
“But, the brooding gorilla is the most important part,” Spike insisted childishly.
“Not if you keep referring to him as a gorilla,” Angel replied sardonically.
“Speaking of brooding gorillas, you really need to have that talk with Fred about her crush on you. I mean it’s cute and all that rot, but if you don’t put the brakes on it now then she’ll never get on with her life. Just tell her that you’re a big ugly ape and she’s a pretty wood nymph, that the two don’t go together and as much as you like her, you don’t see any Wood Nymph-Apes in the offing,” Spike implored.
Angel rolled them over until Spike was on his back and he sat up. “Stop referring to me as a primate.” With that, he found all the other vampire’s ticklish spots and exploited them until Spike convulsed in a wiggling, cursing, laughing fit.
**************************
Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel Courtyard
Fred sat on the edge of a dry fountain in the darkened courtyard, reading a book by the light shining through the windows of the lobby. Angel and Spike, fully dressed in their usual black ensemble, came down the stairs of the small veranda behind her.
“Now remember, an ape and a wood nymph can’t procreate,” Spike chuckled.
“What if I want little wood nymph-apes?” Angel shot back petulantly.
“Eunuchs can’t have wood nymph-anything,” Spike reminded him.
“I’m not a eunuch!” Angel hissed.
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“You produce dead seed, you can’t create anything from that,” Spike said.
“I created enough noise out of you, didn’t I?” Angel grinned smugly.
“Yeah, well, I’m a sleek gazelle,” Spike replied. “You can’t resist me.”
“Can we stop with the animal kingdom euphemisms?”
“Look, Angel, this crush Fred has on you is getting in her way,” Spike said. “Have you seen the way both Wes and Gunn look at her? She has chances, with humans who can give her what a young woman like Fred needs.”
“Their full attention, sunny walks on the beach, a warm body, kids,” Angel conceded. “I know. I’ll talk to her, just no mention of mythical creatures and primates. I’m a grown vampire here.”
Fred looked behind her and startled. She closed the book and shifted nervously.
“Hi,” Angel said softly.
“Hey,” she replied as she pushed her glasses up on her nose. “How’s your head? S-sorry about that . . .” She swung her book like she was hitting something.
“Ah, I,” Angel rubbed away the imaginary pain in the back of his head. “Gather I had it coming.”
“Mm, yes,” she said matter-of-factly.
Spike gestured impatiently for him to talk to her about the important issue or he’d hit Angel again. The dark vampire scowled at him as he sat down next to her.
“Fred, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” Angel stammered.
She put her book down and smiled at him. “Okay.”
Angel was silent, looking out at the night, anywhere but at Fred and Spike.
“Is this about how you’re not like other men, what with that curse and all . . . and how you’re really fond of me, but that’s as far as it goes?” Fred asked.
“Um . . . yeah,” Angel said.
“Cordelia explained it to me,” Fred chuckled softly. “She said you’d probably just screw it up.”
Angel gave her a small smile. “Oh, she did, did she? She’s probably right.”
Spike sat down on the other side of Fred and watched her. “Fred, Angel and I both love you to pieces, but we’re demons. Old, set in our ways. Besides, what can Angel give you? He’s perfected that brooding mystique so well, he’s dull and boring. A young girl like you should be out enjoying your life, not stuck in the dark taking care of a grumpy old man like Angel.”
Fred sighed and looked down at her hands.
“What?” Angel asked concerned.
“It’s like something out of Fitzgerald,” she replied, “The man who can have everything but love. Maybe in some ways you’re better off, because love is . . . well, in a way it’s everything. But, it’s also heartache and disappointment. Those are good things to avoid.”
“I’m not as grumpy as Spike makes me out to be,” Angel stated with a glare towards his childe.
Spike pursed his lips. “Angel, unless you and I are together and you let your demon out, you are a grumpy brooder around humans, who happens to save their lives and get hero worshipped.”
“I’m not hero worshipped,” Angel said defensively. He glanced at Fred who looked at him adoringly. “Okay, so maybe I am a little.”
“So, let’s get this over with,” Spike said. He took Fred’s hand in his. “Luv, Angel is not the one for you. You are a highly intelligent, resourceful and attractive young woman. Men easily fall for that in a big way. You have a few admirers already. Don’t waste your time on vampires who cannot walk in the sun with you, or give you any of the things that make being a human worthwhile.”
“I’m the one in the dark with the blood habit,” Angel added. “You need someone who will take you out for solid meals and can walk in the sun.”
“Now is not the time to turn me on,” Spike smirked. “I’m trying to be serious here. But, if you wanted to take me out for an onion blossom, I wouldn’t say no.”
Angel gave Spike a mock glare. “Eat that onion blossom and you’ll be sleeping elsewhere, baby boy.”
“You don’t have to breathe, what is the problem with what I eat?” Spike shot back.
“Just knowing you eat that. Buffalo wings are one thing, but onions?” Angel shuddered at the idea.
You would prefer garlic then?” Spike asked with his scarred brow raised.
“Jalapenos,” Angel threatened and watched in triumph as a grotesque expression formed on Spike’s face.
“Might do it just for the cheese sandwich and raw onion,” Spike smirked. “It may not last as long, but the initial bite would smother you. You would be reeling for weeks.”
Fred couldn’t stop giggling at the banter between the two vampires. Even if they haven’t spoken the words, she could feel the affection between them in their constant bickering. Cordelia chose that moment to rush out of the hotel, causing everyone to look up at her.
“Angel, Willow’s on the phone . . .” Cordelia said breathlessly. “She’s alive! Buffy’s alive!”
As Cordelia turned around and ran back in, the trio glanced at each other, stunned, and a death knell rang in the vampires ears as looked at each other. After a moment, Angel jumped up and ran into the hotel after Cordelia.
“Buffy?” Fred said to herself.
“Bloody hell, that son of a bitch,” Spike cursed.
“Spike?” Fred’s voice was soft.
“It’ll be all right, pet. I promise,” Spike assured her. He squeezed her hand and followed Angel inside. |
