Riley was upset. Visibly upset. He wanted to break something
with his bare hands. Buffy was shutting down on him. She was
no longer the beautiful, sweet, innocent girl he fell for
last year. For the past 2 months she had completely blocked
him out. She wouldn’t even cry around him over her mother’s
condition. She never opened up and just let her worries out
concerning anything. It was driving him nuts. He didn’t know
what to do.He wanted so many things. Things that he would
never get from her. Her love? The Scoobies had that. Her
virginity? That damnable vampire Angel had that. Her
devotion? The whole fucking world had that. So what
was left? What did Riley Finn get to receive from the small
Vampire Slayer? An empty shell to hold in bed. HA! He
laughed derisively to himself. To hold in bed. That’s a
fluke. She sleeps on the other side of the bed away from
him. Not daring to let him touch her. She’d just as soon
sleep on the couch if she didn’t feel so goddamn obligated
to be in bed with him.
Riley tried to think back to the last time he touched her
intimately in private. The night of the Initiative War. But
even then she was only grateful to be alive. God, that woman
was driving him mad! What the hell does Angel and Dracula
and Spike have over her?
He clenched and unclenched his fists as he watched her
with unseeing eyes. She was on the opposite end of the couch
watching television with him. But there was no closeness.
She was still as distant as ever. The more he gave his
thoughts free reign, the more he grit his teeth and
tightened his fists until his nails broke the skin.
“Why, Buffy? Why have you pulled from me? I’ve had your
back more than once in a patrol. Why are you punishing me?”
Riley asked in a steely whisper.
“What do you mean, Riley? I’m not punishing you,” Buffy
responded shyly.
“Then why won’t you let me touch you anymore?” Riley
asked.
“I-I just . . . I can’t be intimate with so much on my
mind,” Buffy answered. She watched him warily.
“Then for the SAKE OF EVER-LOVING GOD TELL ME WHAT’S
BOTHERING YOU!” Riley nearly screamed. He couldn’t take
anymore. Her coldness was getting on his last nerve. If she
was trying to drive him insane it was working.
“You let Angel touch you –“ Riley started.
“I loved him. He was my first love.” Buffy cringed when
she saw his facial reaction to that. His face was a blotch
of red from the anger he tried to contain.
“You let Dracula suck your blood –“ Riley continued.
“I told you I never let him suck my blood. He took
it!” Buffy answered defensively.
“And need I mention SPIKE!” Riley’s voice rose again.
“What’s this have to do with Spike?” Buffy was confused.
“WHAT. DOES. THIS. HAVE. TO. DO. WITH. SPIKE?
EVERYTHING.”
Riley was out of his mind. He was past thinking clearly.
He just wanted his sweet, pliant Buffy back. He was on her
in a second. He swept across the distance, straddling her
thighs and pinning her legs underneath him. He gripped her
arms painfully in his hands and shook her so violently her
teeth rattled.
Riley pulled Buffy to her feet and pushed her hard. She
stumbled over her own feet and hit the wall with her
shoulder, jarring every muscle in her sore-but-healing body.
She slid down the wall, trying to get her bearings. He
strode purposefully over to her and knelt down grabbing her
by the collar of her flannel shirt and pulled her up to meet
his eyes. His knee pressed into the side of her stomach,
drawing out the pain of her injury.
“You spent the entire night with him the other night.
What were you doing with him in a dark corner of the Bronze?
Reliving old fights? You let him in your house! Do
you know where I found him while you were at the hospital
with your mother? In your bedroom sniffing your clothes.
He was in your bedroom, Buffy! And that Queller demon .
. . Why was Spike even there? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF HOLD DO
THESE VAMPS HAVE OVER YOU BUFFY!” Riley’s voice went from
whisper to yelling at her.
“Riley!” Buffy panted, trying to steel herself from the
pain. “Get off me! You’re hurting me! Please? You’re hurting
me.”
“Ahh, but isn’t that what you like, Buffy? To be hurt.
Isn’t that what those scars are your neck indicate?” Riley
taunted.
“I never wanted Dracula to bite me. He had me
enthralled!” Her tears spilled down her cheeks. “I love you,
Riley.”
Riley’s lips thinned in a grim determined line. His eyes
were cold shards of ice. He cocked his fist back and punched
her in the stomach opposite her injury. “Don’t lie to me,
Buffy. All I’ve done is be your lapdog and I’m finally
putting my foot down this time. No more.” He drew back again
and hit her cheek, causing it to burn.
