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Edges of My Mind
by Tami
Chapter 2
Guatemalan Jungle, Central America
Specialists Riley and Sam Finn watched as a demon nest burned to the ground. They had been married a few months now. When he left Buffy around the time he was offered a job to fight demons on his own terms, he only wanted to be left alone. Then he met Sam. She was a fighter like Buffy only without the attraction to the demons she fought. The attraction between them was evident and it didn’t take long for them to fall in love and decide to get married. Now they spent their married life roasting demon nests together. It was the life he had wanted to share with Buffy, but now he shared it with Sam.
“Specialist Finn,” a static-voice came over Riley’s walkie-talkie.
Riley grabbed the communication device off his belt and clicked a button. “This is Specialist Finn, go ahead.”
“We have news of a person calling himself ‘The Doctor’. He’s been harvesting Svolte demon eggs on the black market. We need to shut down his operation before those eggs are sold. I don’t need to remind you how menacing Svolte eggs are when they hatch.”
“Yes, sir,” Riley answered.
“There’s one other thing, Specialist Finn,” the static-voice said.
“What’s that, Sir,” Riley asked.
“‘The Doctor’ took the eggs from what he thought was an abandoned nest. The mother is on the loose searching for them. We believe she may still be pregnant with more, over.”
Riley and Sam shared a tired expression. They really didn’t want to deal with Svolte demons. They were the equivalent of unruly children with an even worse temper.
“Yes, Sir,” Riley answered.
“We need you and Specialist Cannon-Finn to track this thing and neutralize it, over.”
“Yes, Sir,” Riley answered.
Sam took the walkie-talkie from her husband and clicked a button. “Commander, this is Specialist Cannon-Finn. Can you give us a location on that Svolte?”
“It’s headed for California, Specialist Cannon-Finn,” the static-voice answered.
An unrecognizable expression washed over Riley’s face before he nodded to his wife to take the job.
“We’ll be on the next flight back to the States, over,” Sam reported to the Commander on the other end.
“Copy that, over,” the static-voice replied.
**************************
Claremont Cemetery, Sunnydale
Buffy and Sam Finn were walking the perimeter of the graveyard. Both of them were still wearing their Kevlar outfits from fighting the Svolte demon earlier. Life seemed so simple to Buffy a few hours ago. Try to be a good friend; try to look after Dawn; try to fend off Spike’s advances before succumbing to them, simple. Then Riley showed up at the Doublemeat Palace where she worked. God, that was embarrassing and probably a step down in his eyes.
From his point of view, she went from fresh faced college freshman to worn out and haggard working fast food employee in just under a year. Of course he should say anything at all. He was turning into a fang pin cushion and then abandoned her when she needed him the most. How dare he come back here and make judgments on her life? Not that he has yet, but she could see it in his eyes on the ride to find out where this Svolte demon thing was.
Adding insult to injury, he didn’t just show up out of the blue and ask for her help, he flirted with her and then after he’s gotten her buttered up -- what exactly does that mean, anyway? His wife literally drops in whom he had conveniently forgotten to mention on the trip to the Sunnydale Dam. Not only that, but now she had to entertain the other girl while patrolling.
Wasn’t there a law somewhere that the former significant other and the current significant other were to never meet? Didn’t she try to explain this exact situation to Angel two years ago when he just suddenly showed up out of the blue to apologize for the way he treated her in LA only to meet up with Riley and trade punches with each other? She wanted to lose herself right about now and never return to this world where her ex-boyfriend showed up with his new wife. A wife for crying out loud, it didn’t take him long to get over her did it? God, where was Spike when you needed him?
“Thanks for letting me tag along,” Sam said breaking through Buffy’s thoughts.
“No problem.” Buffy gave Sam a false smile.
“Maybe not for you,” Sam said in awe. “I gotta tell you, Buffy I’m a little intimidated. I mean, patrolling with the real live Slayer. You’re like . . . Santa Claus, or Buddha, or something.”
Just great, now she was being compared by this woman to fat men. “Fat and jolly?” Buffy inquired.
Sam shook her head. “Legendary. It’s not just the Slayer status I’m talking about. It’s you.”
Buffy’s head shot up at that. Riley told Sam about her? That thing Giles always told her about keeping her identity a secret just never really worked. “Riley talks about me?”
Sam shrugged nonchalantly. “He didn’t say anything for a long time, but I could tell. He was ripped up inside.”
Yeah, ripped up inside huh? Did he tell you he was cheating on me with vampire whores? Did he tell you I found him in a warehouse actively being sucked by vampires? I saw that with my own two eyes. Okay, Spike alerted me to the situation to suit his own deluded purposes, but he was still doing it. I bet he left all that out of his little confessional. “Good thing he has you,” Buffy said outwardly.
“More like miraculous. I went down to Central America with the Peace Corps. One night, my entire infirmary was slaughtered by . . .” Sam shook her head to clear the painful images away. “I didn’t know what they were. I got saved, quit the Corps and joined the squad. My first firefight, I met Riley.” Sam smiled wistfully at the thought of first meeting him. “We started talking, you know, first about tactics, missions, stuff like that, and then about you,” Sam said glancing over at Buffy.
Oh, this is nice. Stuck out here in the middle of a cemetery while Mrs. Cardboard tells me how perfect their life is. Mrs. Cardboard? Wonderful, I’m starting to use Spike-isms now.
“He thinks . . . I let him go,” Buffy explained in her defense. Riley was just like any other man. Blame the woman for all his troubles, but never once putting the blame on himself for what he did behind her back.
Sam stopped walking and turned towards her companion. Hearing Buffy’s comment threw her a bit. Was Buffy trying to get back with Riley? “Do you wish you hadn’t,” she asked hesitantly.
“I wish things had gone differently,” Buffy answered truthfully. Then she looked at the guarded expression on Sam’s face. Oh, she thinks I want him back. I’m not ready for anything serious. I don’t even know if I could love him the same anymore. “I-I’m not trying to . . . I don’t . . . uh, you know.” She shut up before she dug any deeper and resumed walking.
Put a stop to that train of thought right now. Riley’s mine, I don’t care if you are the Slayer or not. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, Buffy. There are no bad guys in this one. The only thing that could . . . help Riley work it out was time. Lots of time. Took him a year to get over you,” Sam told her.
A year huh, then why has it only been nine months since he left me and you’ve been married for four of them. That isn’t a year, it’s five months! “I’m glad he’s over me,” Buffy faintly.
Sam decided to drop the baiting conversation and try another angle now that she knew Buffy was no longer interested in Riley. “So, are you seeing anyone new? Someone special?”
“You know, I just take my time. I don’t wanna jump right into anything. I don’t wanna be defined by who I’m with,” Buffy answered. What about Spike? Her inner voice taunted. Spike isn’t special; he’s an evil, soulless thing. What I have with him is a thing. Then how do you explain your relationship with Angelus? Her inner voice asked. Angel can’t help what his evil side does to people. Spike can. What I have with Spike isn’t even real so shut up.
“Sam, you know what? I think we should split up,” Buffy suggested suddenly.
Sam’s face fell into a hurt expression. “Oh, I’m slowing you down. I knew I would, this was just selfish of me.”
Yeah, right. You seem real sincere about ruining my night. “No, it’s not, uh . . . there’s this guy,” vampire, her inner voice corrected, soulless vampire. “Uh, an informant,” is that what they call it nowadays? Her inner voice mused. “But he’s twitchy,” Yeah, he is, especially when you tickle him along his hip, her inner voice pointed out. If I show up with company, we get nothing,” Not really, you may get a threesome. Spike’s easily adaptable, her inner voice supplied.
“It’s cool. I’m guessing Finn needs me about now,” Sam said looking around to see which way to head back. “He’s probably off somewhere getting his ass kicked.” Sam grinned at that thought. “You know how wild he gets,” she said. As she backed away she called out, “Don’t worry about Rye and me, we’re good.”
“I noticed,” Buffy said to herself.
As she walked in the opposite direction she pondered the whole discussion with Sam tonight. Yeah, she knew how wild Riley got. So wild he was sneaking out of her bed to hunt vampires that would bite him for money. She turned her thoughts to berating her inner voice for the taunts concerning Spike. She did not have a relationship with Spike. There were no feelings between them no matter how much Spike said he loved her.
After Angel she couldn’t afford to fall in love with another vampire. Soulless vampires didn’t feel things like love or hate. They didn’t have a care one way or the other. Angel spent five months terrorizing her when Angelus came to the forefront to play. How could Spike be any different? Even with the chip in his head he was still evil. He was capable of being evil to her and to her friends. But he has never tried since he found out that the chip didn’t work on you, has he? Her inner voice asked. He wouldn’t because I’m the Slayer. He knows I would stake him if he turned back into the Spike I first met at 16. End of story.
**************************
Restfield Cemetery, Spike’s Crypt
Spike was sitting on a sarcophagus reading a book that was an old favorite back when Angelus used to read to him. He had converted the coffin into a makeshift couch with the use of a blanket and a couple of throw pillows. It wasn’t much but it was utilitarian.
Spike looked up at the sound of his door slamming open to see Buffy striding in. He wasn’t expecting her tonight. Not that he could ever hold her visits to a predetermined schedule. The Slayer just showed up whenever she had the inclination to. It brought to mind a conversation he had had with Angel a few years ago when he accused his Sire of being her lapdog. He scoffed at that memory. Who was the Slayer’s lapdog now? Being love’s bitch really was a curse.
“Buffy. Hey now,” Spike greeted her. He put his book down and stood up. “If I’d-a known you were coming, I’d-a baked a cake.”
Buffy walked over to stand in front of him, removing her black gloves along the way. “I need information,” she stated.
“Well, suppose I could be helpful, if the price is right,” he said as he watched her put the gloves down. She was undressing right in front of him? It must be real important, she never offered sex first. “I’m not sure I’m selling out at Doublemeat Palace wages though,” he smirked.
Buffy ignored the comment. “I need to find a guy. Dealer. Calls himself ‘The Doctor’.”
“Human?”
“His traffic isn’t.”
“Clock ticking?”
“Whatever he’s doing, he’s doing it soon.”
Spike’s eyes skimmed her body, determining the best way to remove the Kevlar. “Soon, but not now?”
Buffy looked at Spike for a moment. Her mind flashed to Riley showing up, with a wife, who was determined to flaunt just how wonderful their life and marriage was. Spike was her solace even if it didn’t last long. He was there to make her life better. All she had to do was play on his weakness and she’d have him eating out of her hand. Go ahead, take him. He’s there to be used. He’s what you always wanted Angel to be. He’s attainable. Her inner voice whispered.
“Tell me you love me,” Buffy said quietly.
Spike was taken by surprise when he heard her words. She’s never wanted his love before. Why now? He’d spent the last year or so trying to tell her he loved her only to be spat on and degraded to nothing. Now here she was asking if he loved her. Knowing he’d probably end up hurt in the end, physically or otherwise, he yielded.
“I love you. You know I do,” Spike said.
Buffy took a step closer watching Spike’s full lips intently. “Tell me you want me.”
Tell her he wanted her? Was she insane? He’s wanted her for years; wanted to kill her, fight her, be her confidant, hold her, kiss her, and make love to her. Several of which she would never allow him close enough to do. Yet here she was asking if he wanted her.
“I always want you,” Spike whispered. “In point of fact--”
“Shut up,” Buffy said cutting him off.
Buffy moved closer to Spike as if to kiss him, but instead, hooked her hand around his neck and pulled him down with her onto the sarcophagus. Lying on her back with him on top of her, she started unbuttoning his shirt. Spike tugged at the fastenings on Buffy’s Kevlar outfit. She stared up into his face and saw the vulnerability there that she always did in these moments. Moments when she knew she could hurt him the most with a look, a word, a gesture. It gave her the powerful feeling she always craved in his presence. It was the feeling that she could control something when the world outside his crypt refused to bend to her will. She pushed the partially unbuttoned shirt down over his shoulder and used it to pull him down for a kiss that made her forget about Riley and Sam Finn.
**************************
Some time later, Spike’s Crypt
Buffy and Spike were lying on the sarcophagus sleeping under the blankets. Buffy still refused to touch him after sex. Cuddling after sex was too intimate, too much of a lover’s touch. Spike wasn’t her lover, he was a thing. So then drop the evil, sexy vampire and buy a vibrator, her inner voice suggested. Whoever heard of such a thing? The Slayer can’t keep a man so she keeps a vibrator? Yeah, right. That’ll never happen.
Suddenly the door to the crypt burst open again. Spike stirred at the sound and opened an eye to see if Buffy had up and left immediately after sex, again. Seeing her still dozing beside him, he lifted his head up to see who had the balls to entire a vampire’s lair while said vampire was in residence.
Feeling Spike move beside her, Buffy opened her eyes and raised her head to look for the intruder as well. When she saw her ex-boyfriend in the shadows, she gasped and sat up, holding the blanket over her chest. She leaned over and reached to cover a bare leg that had become exposed during her slumber. Why she was covering herself from Riley’s view she couldn’t comprehend in her sleep-addled brain. It wasn’t like he had never seen her naked before.
Spike gave Riley a stony stare but then seeing Buffy cover herself, he chuckled. A little late for that don’tcha think, love? Everyone in this room has seen everyone else naked or is about to. He propped himself up on his elbows and smirked at Riley.
“Well, lookee here. I don’t normally use the word delicious . . .” Spike drawled as he cocked his head looking at Riley standing inside his crypt and holding a large gun. He could just imagine what was going through soldier boy’s mind right now seeing Buffy naked and under the covers with him. It was probably the same thoughts he had last year when he used to stand under Buffy’s bedroom window and listen to her fuck the boy. “. . . but I’ve gotta wager this little tableau must sting a bit, eh? Catching me with your former? It must kill to see her finally with me.” Spike ran a possessive and caressing touch over Buffy’s lower back, just to see Riley’s reaction. “What can I say? I told you she needed a little monster in her man.”
Buffy stared down at the blanket covering her with an expression caught between distress and shame. Riley had walked in and found out her secret. Her friends and family didn’t even know that she was sleeping with Spike. Oh my God. That’s right, start praying now, her inner voice taunted, You didn’t think you could keep your midnight trysts with Spike a secret for long, now could you? Honestly? No, she answered herself silently. Welcome to the real world, honey, her inner voice said.
A brief expression of pain passed over Riley’s features before they settled into an expression of indifference as he took in the picture of his beloved Buffy in bed with Spike of all people. He thought she had more smarts than to sleep with a soulless demon. The Buffy he knew would have never thought of Spike in a sexual way, let alone willingly sleep with him. What the hell was it with Buffy and vampires? Granted Angel had a soul, but he was still undead. Now she’s sleeping with Spike? Thank God he had found Sam and married her.
Riley stared hard at the blond vampire. “That’s not why I’m here . . . Doctor.”
Buffy’s head shot up with shocked expression and turned to stare at Spike and then over to Riley. Spike was The Doctor? No way. Spike was evil, not a genius. Buffy looked from one man to the other. She was still holding the blanket against her body. Realizing that she was still naked and still under the covers with Spike, feeling his hand caress her back, she became disgusted with herself.
“Oh God.” She got up taking the blanket with her. Seeing the awareness hit the girl, Spike sighed in defeat as he watched her stand up and search for her clothes. He sat up and threw his legs over the side of the coffin. “Here I thought we’d run you out of town, mate.”
On the other side of the coffin, Buffy crouched down and scooped up her clothes. She scowled at Spike’s comment. Clothes in hand, she walked around a cavern wall that ran through the upper and lower level of the crypt for a measure of privacy to get dressed.
Spike was still watching Riley cautiously. If he ever pulled that trigger, it wouldn’t kill him but it would hurt like hell. Glaring at the former Initiative operative, Spike said conversationally, “Last time I saw you, if memory serves, you were getting the juice sucked out of you by some undead ladies of very questionable reputation.” Just for the shock value, Spike let his legs fall open to reveal his long, thick manhood resting against his inner thigh. He smirked when Riley averted his eyes. Please her well with it I do and she always comes back for more, Cardboard.
“Now, if you don’t mind, be a good tin soldier and, uh . . .” Spike said as he made a “go-away” gesture.
Riley ignored the irritating vampire and asked, “Where are they . . . Doctor?”
Spike had picked up his jeans and was putting them on when he answered. “Where are what, and why do you keep calling me that?”
Riley rolled his eyes and looked around the crypt. He sure didn’t miss getting information from Spike. Now here he was back in Sunnydale looking for Svolte demon eggs only to find his ex-girlfriend fucking the undead. Why did he ever agree to let Sam take this mission? After scanning the room he looked back at Spike who was now half dressed. “It’s good to be back in Sunnydale. The locals all speak English, and I know who to beat for information. It’s all brought me here.”
Spike didn’t know about that. Angelus drilled a few languages into his vocabulary, both foreign and demonic. A wild hare hit him. He cocked his head and looked at Riley, “Parlez-vous français? Parlate italiano? Spreekt u het Nederlands? ¿Usted habla español?” He made a few guttural sounds in demonic languages as well. Seeing Riley’s weary expression he smiled. Thought so, you bastard.
Becoming serious again, Spike sighed and fastened his jeans. “Look, crew cut,” he said as he buckled his belt. “She’s not your bint any more. And, if I can speak frankly, she always had a little thing for me, even when she was shagging you.”
“Nice, Spike, that’s very distracting,” Riley said sarcastically. He walked closer, “Now tell me, before I get unprofessional . . .” He pointed the gun at Spike. “. . . Where are those eggs, Spike?”
Did Spike hear Riley right? He wasn’t here for Buffy? He was here about the Svolte demon eggs he was holding for Maurice? He and the Glognok demon had a deal set up that he would find the eggs, Spike would store them and they would sell them and split the cost. He’d keep enough to buy blood and smokes and give the rest of his share to Buffy to help with her money issues.
“Eggs,” Spike scoffed. “You’re off your nut, mate. It must be those drugs they were keeping you on. I did warn you.”
Riley was growing impatient. Why Buffy felt the need to keep this undead sack of shit alive, or even deader, as the case may be, was beyond him. He would have already staked the prick if she hadn’t appealed to him that Spike was her vampire to deal with. Her vampire, he couldn’t believe she had called Spike her vampire the night they had argued over keeping Spike around two years ago. Now she was fucking him. She was letting another vampire put his dead flesh inside her body. How sickening is that?
“Okay. We can do this the hard way,” Riley said and then cocked his gun, “or we can do this the fatal way,” he rolled his hips and bumped a stake hanging from his belt into Spike’s view. While Spike refocused more on the stake than the gun, Riley punched him in the face with the barrel of the gun. That was when Buffy reappeared fully dressed as Spike rubbed the pain from his nose.
“Where are the eggs?” Riley repeated despairingly.
“Look, The Doctor, it can’t be Spike,” Buffy said anxiously.
Spike looked at her surprised that she had come to his defense. “No need to defend me, love.”
Buffy turned and punched him just on general principle. She turned back to Riley. “Look, i-it can’t be, okay? He-he’s too incompetent to pull off a stunt like this.” Spike glared at her for the insult to his intelligence. Damn woman wasn’t helping his case at all. “It’s just Spike, Riley,” Buffy reasoned.
Riley nodded. “Right, deadly . . . amoral.” Spike smirked at those descriptions. Boy wonder was giving him way too much credit for his current neutered state. “Opportunistic,” Riley said as he glared at Spike. “Or have you forgotten?”
Buffy glared at Riley. She may not have an answer for her recent behavior with Spike now, but how dare he get all self-righteous on her. He was killing himself not a year ago by paying vampires to suck his blood and sneaking out of her bed to do it. Yet, here he was standing in her lover’s – did I just call Spike my lover? – crypt accusing her of forgetting who Spike was. She remembered who Spike was, damn it. The vampire who fucks you like no one else can? The vampire that can dish it right back just as well as he can take it and never slow down because he’s not mortal? Her inner voice suggested. Oooh, if you aren’t going to help matters than just shut up! She scolded herself.
While Buffy was arguing with herself, Riley was threatening Spike with gun and words and maybe a possible staking – for real this time. He had the gun pointed at the blonde vampire and was glaring at him as he said, “I’m taking this place apart until I find that nest.”
What the bloody hell? Captain Cardboard waltzes in here and interrupts a post-shag bliss like he was the riot police and now he was threatening to destroy his home. Wasn’t there an amendment in this country about illegal search and seizures? Granted he hadn’t practiced law in over a century, but he still kept up with the ever-changing laws in whichever country he happened to be residing in at the time. Learning all the rules and regulations that humans around the world used to restrict themselves was one of his many entertainments while traveling with Drusilla over the years.
“Over my dead body,” Spike retorted. Okay, so technically he was dead. It was a figure of speech really, not to be taken literally.
“I’ve seen enough of your dead body for one night, thanks,” Riley gritted out. He used the barrel of his gun to shove Spike aside.
Spike grabbed his shoulder when Riley passed him. “You’re not gonna--”
Riley shoved Spike away and he stumbled back against a pillar. As Riley started down the ladder to lower level of the crypt, he called out to Buffy, “You coming?”
Buffy was still confused as to how this night had gotten this far. She looked up from mulling over her jumbled thoughts. Seeing that Riley wasn’t there, she looked at Spike with a perplexed expression until Riley’s rough question seeped into her brain. She turned and followed Riley down the ladder.
For several seconds Spike had thought Buffy would side with him, but once her ex-toy soldier’s question registered she had followed the man down into his bedroom. He couldn’t believe this. Two hours ago she was asking if he loved and wanted her. She had nearly torn his clothes off trying to get to his cock. She had demanded his love be given in a firework display of passionate sex. Now the bloody bint was siding with GI Joe and apparently forgetting the very profound event that happened between them not even an hour earlier.
Spike stared at the spot where the Slayer had just been standing and the more he thought about it the more it pissed him off. Angrily he yelled, “Oh, this is . . . unconstitutional, is what it is!” He grabbed his shirt and shrugged it on and he hurried to catch up with them. “Here!”
Riley and Buffy had reached the ground level when Spike calling after them, “There’s nothing to see down there!”
Buffy hurried after Riley as he moved through the large underground rooms. Her ex-boyfriend may have cheated on her with vampires, but, in her opinion, he had great instincts. If he thought there was a nest in Spike’s bedroom, then there must be a chance that there was. Spike may have protected Dawn, her mom, her friends and herself on numerous occasions, but he was still a vampire, and therefore evil in any case.
“Riley, look, I’m not saying that he’s good. I’m just saying that he’s not capable of something as--” Buffy was cut short when they rounded a corner and saw the demon eggs. There were nearly a dozen or more around the size of small boulders with a brownish-gray scaly shell. Riley cocked his weapon when upon closer inspection he saw yellowish slime trickling out of the cracks in a few of the shells.
At that moment Spike had caught up with them. Seeing that they had found the eggs he turned to them and said defensively, “I can explain.”
Riley scanned the eggs and mentally evaluated how many were soon to hatch. He didn’t think he had enough ammunition for this. He only had two guns and a couple dozen bullets in each one. Sam had the better guns of their small arsenal and she wasn’t here. In fact she was supposed to keep Buffy occupied long enough for him to visit Spike but he saw how that turned out. Sweet, little Buffy was in bed with the animated, blood-drinking corpse. “We’re gonna need more weapons. Spike screwed up. You didn’t keep ‘em frozen did you . . . Doctor?”
Spike was fed up with Riley’s accusation that he was Maurice’s supplier. “You can stop calling me that any time. If I may, the thing of it is, I’m holding these for a friend who--”
Too busy trying to explain why he had had the eggs in the first place, Spike wasn’t prepared for it when Buffy punched him in the nose and knocked him to the ground.
“No more games Spike!” Buffy ground out.
Spike rose to his feet. He was angry. First she sides with Riley and now she’s telling him ‘no more games’? If anyone was playing the games here it was her. She was the one calling the shots of their – whatever this was to her. It sure as hell wasn’t the relationship he had signed on for. In the beginning he was fine with it just being rough sex, but he still loved her. He wanted to treat her like he had treated Drusilla all those years: take care of her, provide for her. She wouldn’t allow that. So he went in on the deal with Maurice over the Sovlte eggs to begin with, to get her money so she wouldn’t have to work and she’d stop reeking of that fucking restaurant. The smell of cooked meat on her flesh always made him squeamish.
Spike looked crestfallen at Buffy. He had tried everything to make her life better. He tried to make it so that she would survive a lot longer than previous slayers. He wanted to see her rise out of this depressing rut she had pigeonholed herself into. It was like dealing with a female version of his souled, guilt-ridden Sire. He wanted her to move on with her life. He wanted to see her blossom and glow. He loved her to the point that if she was using him as a springboard to achieve that inner peace she had before she died then he accepted that.
Yet here she was standing in front of him with hate in her eyes. It wasn’t the hate that a Slayer and a vampire shared mutually. No, she was acting the part of the scorned lover. The funny thing was she was doing it on the side of the very person who had betrayed her.
Spike was tired of this whole situation. Love’s bitch, indeed. Seeing her standing there, united with Soldier Blue against him had finally cleared his vision. He saw what she had truly become. All the hatred and negative emotions she spat at him and pounded into his flesh on a nearly daily basis were written on her face. She had felt it within herself and spent the last two months or more pouring it into him, because, in her eyes, he was just a dead, evil, soulless demon.
Spike wasn’t sure what to feel for her. The emotions of anger and sadness of letting this woman nearly destroy him from the inside out were threatening to come out in a flood of frustrated tears.
“Well, that’s bloody funny coming from you! No more games?” Buffy rolled her eyes as if he were a nuisance to her and not the vampire she had willingly sought out and fucked for the last two months. “That’s all you’ve ever done is play me. You keep playing with rules you make up as you like. You know what I bloody well am. You’ve always known. You come to me all the same!”
Riley cocked his head toward Buffy. “Can you shut him up?”
Buffy had grown weary of Spike’s tirade even before he started. She’d deal with him after Riley left town with his new wife. “Not so far.”
Hearing Buffy’s dismissal of him in her voice, Spike stalked off. He needed a drink. If it wasn’t for the bloody chip, he’d go hunt for a vile kill. He now understood why Angelus was utterly insane a few years ago. The blond bitch had driven him to it and when Angel wouldn’t react; all that frustration was pent up until Angelus finally broke through. Not that Spike could instantly forgive his Sire for treating him the way he had when Spike was wheelchair bound. But it did explain a lot of what had happened to Angelus then.
Walking through the demon district of Sunnydale, Spike realized that with his neutered state and his association with Slayer had gotten him violently and/or physically tossed from 99.9% of the demon bars. Sighing he headed toward the sewer. He walked a few meters and then climbed a ladder. He opened the trap door at the top and climbed out into Willy’s storage room. He went over to a group of shelves and scanned the liquor display. Choosing a strong whiskey, he drank what he judged to be a shot straight from the bottle. He recapped the bottle and placed it back on the shelf. |
